Sticks and Stones

For those bloodthirsty and perhaps insane Sticks and Stones readers hoping for some tips for their own personal vendettas, I am sorry to disappoint. Michael Portillo, a former British MP, presented a most interesting documentary about this very issue in a quest to find if there is a truly humane way for the state to carry out the death sentence.

The lethal injection was once advertised as being the perfect way to kill an individual on death row. Three drugs are injected into the veins; the first a strong anaesthetic, the second a muscle relaxant, and the third a drug which induces cardiac arrest. Sounds just swell. The complications in this method arise, however, by the fact that due to the Hippocratic oath, doctors cannot administer the procedure and so mistakes often happen, sometimes including the injection of the drug into soft tissue instead of the veins. The result is a slow and painful death. Furthermore, it is possible for the anaesthetic to be injected incorrectly, so the patient can feel the muscle relaxant and cardiac arrest take hold; the sensation was described as being like having fire running through the veins.

Hanging was the method of death formerly employed in Britain. The idea is that the body is suddenly dropped, with a length of rope proportional to the individuals weight around the neck to fracture the top of the spine and destroy the brain stem. However, slightly misjudging the rope length (by a matter of feet or even inches) can lead to the head snapping off the body completely as happened with Saddam Hussein’s brother. Getting beheaded by a piece of rope is not the nicest sounding death. The number of variables between people’s physical anatomy (muscle strength, shape, neck length, neck thickness etc.) means it is impossible even for scientists today to identify the perfect rope lengths to stop this happening.

The electric chair was the next method looked at. Commonly used in America, the idea is to zap the convict with 2500 volts through a wet natural sponge to the head, and two more at the calves. The problems with this method are well known. This much electricity heading through the body does not necessarily kill the individual. Sometimes the whole process need be repeated several times. Furthermore, as doctors (for the same reasons mentioned above) cannot carry out the procedure, sometimes those who make mistakes. in the US an individual had a synthetic instead of a natural sponge used, which is not nearly as good a conductor. The result was being slowly cooked. Witnesses could hear his muffled screams.

Finally, the gas chamber. This was the horrific death sentence indiscriminately issues by the Nazis in their genocide attempts. Cyanide gas is pumped into a cell until death. If the individual takes deep breaths and remains calm, the poison kills much more quickly than if the individual panics. This is the problem. It is hard to ask somebody to cooperate in their own death. If they do not, they will experience great pain and suffering as they panic to breathe oxygen.

Portillo then discovered what he believed to be the perfect method of killing; hypoxia. The idea is that nitrogen gas is breathed in by the individual, which slowly takes root instead of oxygen in the blood killing the individual. The difference is that the experience is not painful but euphoric; the feeling is like being extremely drunk. It is not painful.

But as an American lobbyist who supports Capital Punishment pointed out, you and I will not necessarily enjoy Euphoria in death. Nor did the convict’s victims. So why should he/she? Perhaps the point is that we all have different ideas about what a humane and dignified death entails. Some of us would like to see a vindictive and retributive one. Others would rather not see one at all. Either way, I hope you use the knowledge responsibly and do not kill any human beings yourself any time soon.

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The President of Iran, one Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is not the only moron to have expressed the conviction that the State of Israel, if anywhere, really ought to be formed out of land taken from the perpetrators of the alleged (that’s right: alleged) Holocaust; he is, however the most prominent and moronic, and so it is he to whom I refer:

In remarks that sparked outrage in Washington and Jerusalem, Mr Ahmadinejad rejected the “claim” that millions of Jews were murdered by the Nazis, but called on those who believe to set up a Jewish state in countries such as Germany and Austria.

This stems from the (largely true) belief that the Jewish People were only given (my, that sounds condescending, doesn’t it?) the Jewish State because of the atrocity of the Holocaust; it fails to recognise, however, the abundance of antisemitism prior to it and in other places, even if never quite on the same scale.

If Israel were to be made up of land carved out of nations which have been guilty of the persecution of Jews, then it would comprise most, if not all, of Europe, due to various inquisitions, pogroms, libels, etc. The Israeli Flag would fly not only above Jerusalem, but above Cairo, Damascus, Tripoli and, yes, Tehran, to name but a few. The Jews would even have a claim to New York, as if they needed one. South America would remain largely untouched, but who needs all that humidity?

It is therefore ironic that fellows such as Ahmadinejad, who can hardly bear the existence of Israel even as it stands, paltry in size and mostly desert, would propose a much larger and richer Israel, which no Zionist would want even were it to be offered them. Perhaps this joker and his ilk should abstain from raising the issue of antisemitism, and keep quiet when it is raised, and go back to planning his very own Holocaust, after which the Jews can take a chunk of Iran - presumably with his blessings.

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Boing Boing’s David Pescovitz writes: A 14-year-old boy in Lodz, Poland allegedly hacked a TV remote control so that he could control parts of his city’s tram system. Sounds like he identified the infrared pulses used to override the track switching. Four trams were derailed and 12 people were injured.

The issue is more complicated than doling out a punishment. Children like this, obviously endowed with ingenuity and intelligence need to understand the error of their ways, however their intellect and ingenuity should be fostered. These kids have the imagination to see beyond what is the designated use for devices like TV remotes. Perhaps it is an indictment of their education system; that these bright young boys and girls are not challenged enough at school, but in reality it is an opportunity for that country to take a special interest in a very promising child.

Punishment for young men and women should not be vengeful. They are not fully grown adults and so won’t have the maturity to know the fun tricks they play can be dangerous. Funnel that energy and talent into something productive and ten years on, you may have a brilliant rocket scientist. By all means give the boy a punishment; we must be very aware that his actions caused the injury to 12 people and that must not be taken lightly at all. He deserves to be punished for that, but he also needs to have his talents harnessed in beneficial ways. After all, we don’t want him in prison for a few months only to come out bitter, angry, and likely to re-offend.

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